Who should make the call?
Following up after a first date can be more nerve-wracking than securing the initial date itself. You’ve actually met now – so a refusal is going to be hard not to take personally. As ever though – Fortune Favours the Bold! If you wish to secure a second date and the signals were positive first time round, don’t rely on your date to follow up. The job of securing a second date is gender neutral and heaven forbid that you would miss out on the opportunity because neither of you wanted to make the first move.
When should you ask?
The end of the first date is often the best time to secure the second. But if that didn’t happen, text the following day. “Had a great time, fancy doing it again?” is casual but direct. Texting is a great way to follow up. It gives both parties time to craft a response, whether it is a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.
Where should you go for a second date?
Try something different for the second date. If the first date was dinner, how about a lunchtime museum date? Different environments show different sides to people.
Suggest you go somewhere/do something that he/she expressed an interest in during the first date. This shows you were listening and that you are considerate of their preferences.
Do’s and Don’ts of Conversation
Delve a little more into some of the conversation topics you touched upon the first time round. “So, you mentioned you enjoy (insert appropriate interest/activity), how did you get into that?” Again, it shows great listening skills and that you want to get to know your date better.
However, tread carefully on the “big issues”. Yes, you want to get to know them better and will be starting to work out if this thing has legs, but don’t be tempted to discuss your ticking biological clock or your previous relationship issues. It’s still too soon and you’re not a couple, yet.
The Issue of Physical Contact
If you did kiss the first time round, it’s probably natural that you will again, but don’t assume things will go further this time. Remember, don’t feel pressure to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. (Read Mary’s “Should you kiss on the first date” advice.)
Relax, Be Yourself, and Behave!
They liked you enough to want to see you again, so don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through. You’ll be at your most attractive if you are comfortable in your own skin.
Don’t be tempted to drink too much alcohol – one of the tips from the first date that still applies. A boozy you, isn’t you at your best, so don’t calm any nerves with too many tipples.
If your dates don’t normally get to the second date stage, you may need some of our expert help. If you find yourself constantly wondering – ‘Is it me? What did I do wrong? Why can’t I find someone who likes what I like?’ Then perhaps it’s time to give our expert matchmakers a call for a friendly chat. We have 30 years experience of finding life partners for London-based thinking people.
If you are ready to meet someone special, contact the friendly award winning matchmakers at Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking.