It can be daunting as a single parent to get out on the dating scene, but there are so many ways to alleviate the nerves!
1. Be confident!
Confidence is key when you’re single and looking to meet someone. You need to be confident in yourself and what you have to offer a partner—not only for your own self-esteem, but also because confidence is attractive. Don’t worry about what people think of your situation—if they can’t accept the fact you’re a parent, they were never right for you in the first place.
Of course, another worry is that your child might not accept your new partner in their lives. With older children especially, it’s important to maintain an open dialogue. They might not understand your need for adult companionship—that’s normal. But they can still accept, even if they don’t understand. As long as you reassure your child that they’ll always be your priority, everything else can be worked out as you go along.
2. Take your time
As tempting as it can be, try not to jump in head first. You need to know you’re ready to date someone new. Your child needs to be ready to see a new person around the house. It’s a good idea to wait a while to ensure this relationship is going somewhere before making the introductions. You may also want to make sure things are good with your ex. All of this takes time, so don’t feel pressured by expectations.
3. Be open and honest
If you’re dating online, you’ll face the decision of whether to disclose your parenthood. Many single parents opt to do so because they’ll attract only people who accept this fact about them. Others don’t: they don’t want to be dismissed before someone’s really got to know them. Ultimately it’s your decision; go with what feels right. Maybe let it come up in conversation organically. But once you’re ready to move past online dating, this really is the time to disclose. Tell your online date, and give them the choice to proceed. You won’t then be worrying about how to bring it up during your first date, and it also means you’ve shown them respect and courtesy and been a grownup about the matter.
4. Be flexible
Dating as a single parent is anything but easy! You often find yourself scheduling dates around when your children are otherwise engaged or someone’s looking after them. But there are still ways to date while you’re doing childcare. Try Zoom dating: this gives the two of you the chance to talk without the need for a babysitter. If all goes well, you can happily commit to something longer and less constrained for the next date!
5. Involve your children
You can demonstrate your commitment both to dating and to your children by bringing them along on your date. Meet your date at the park. Go for ice cream. Head to the beach. The world’s your oyster with a little imagination! If you do make the introductions, it’s probably best for now to introduce your date as your friend. No need to take things fast. What’s more, this approach lets your children be part of the social occasion without putting pressure on them or your date. If things progress nicely, your children will now be acquainted with your new partner, comfortable in their company and more accepting of them in their lives.
You deserve love and romance as much as anyone else!
Many single parents have been through tough times and heartbreak. You might say that makes them even more appreciative of love and romance. Dating as a single parent is eminently possible as long as you get the basics right. And at the end of the day, if the situation’s right and the chemistry’s fizzing, nothing can stop you. Drawing Down the Moon is an elite, multi-award-winning dating agency. Our world-class matchmakers are renowned for successfully pairing intelligent, empathetic, and highly compatible singles looking to settle down with someone special. Lots of our clients are single parents looking for love, and we take great pleasure and pride in helping them meet someone special. Get in touch today to start your own journey.
Are you looking for a bar or restaurant for a date? Check out this selection of bars for a date in Clerkenwell.