Dating in London isn’t always a walk in the park. From endless swiping online to navigating the occasionally awkward first date, the search for a meaningful connection can sometimes feel overwhelming, particularly if you are going alone. That’s where working with a top Matchmaker can make all the difference. Offering a personalised, friendly, and importantly supportive approach to helping you find love.
But here’s the thing: working with a matchmaker requires trust. Our clients are high achieving, successful people, who are not used to handing the reins over to someone else. Occasionally, when working with a top London matchmaker, it can mean, receiving feedback that can feel a little uncomfortable, but only ever a piece of advice, warmly shared, in order to maximise your chances of finding love. Whether you’re brand new to matchmaking, or already working with a top London Matchmakers at Drawing Down the Moon, let’s dive into why trusting your matchmaker and being open to constructive, positive feedback will be the cornerstones of your successful matchmaking journey.
Trusting Your Matchmaker
Imagine this: You’re at a tailor, getting fitted for a custom suit or outfit. The experienced tailor takes a long hard look at you, and suggests a style you may not necessarily have picked. You might hesitate at first, but when you know to trust their expertise, the result is something that is going to fit just perfectly. That’s exactly how matchmaking works, taking a leap of faith and trusting that your experienced matchmakers have your best interests at heart, and crucially, allowing them to take a risk.
Matchmakers are relationship experts and here at Drawing Down the Moon, we know more than most. Our 40th Anniversary year started in 2024, and with over four decades of experience we are the UK’s oldest and original matchmaker. We understand the subtle art of pairing people based on values, outlook, family dynamics and most importantly long term compatibility – not just surface level traits, such as hobbies or the model of car you drive.
Matchmakers See the Bigger Picture
You may feel you have a strong idea about the type of person you would like to meet, and it may be that the type of person you are looking for is exactly the type of person that is right for you. Or, it might be that the person you are looking for is what you want, but not necessarily what you need. At DDM, our London matchmakers are trained to uncover exactly what you need, allowing for some serendipity along the way.
When a lovely client was hoping to join a few years ago, she brought with her a well thought out, long, laundry list of things she was looking for in a man (see our blog – Love is Not a List – a phrase coined by Chief Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaker Gillian McCallum).
By having in depth conversations with her future matchmaker, she realised that some of the things she was looking for may perhaps not get her any closer to finding someone who loved her. Ultimately, whether someone likes curry and skiing doesn’t have any impact on how they make you feel, but when you add in 20 or 30 other criteria, it can have a huge impact on how many people are out there who fit the criteria, and crucially, are looking for someone just like you!
Fast forward three months, and we introduced our lovely new client to a chap who preferred sailing to skiing and Italian food to Indian, but he did share her passion for adventure, strong family values and retiring early. She later shared with us ‘I never would have given him a chance if I’d stuck to my list!’
This ability to see the bigger picture in love and ensure we are casting our net as wide as we possibly can is why thousands of singles approach Drawing Down the Moon matchmakers each year. Unlike online dating apps and without ever using algorithms or AI in their matching process, the matchmakers at Drawing Down the Moon listen, empathise, and get to know you, building a picture of exactly who might be right for you. Our matchmakers understand that love is often about the unquantifiable: the spark found in engaging conversation, the alignment of life goals, and the feeling of being understood. Not to mention getting breakfast in bed.
Common Matchmaking Concerns
It’s normal to feel a little bit apprehensive when you start working with a matchmaker, no matter how reputable or skilled they may be. Here are some of the common concerns we hear, and why you shouldn’t let them hold you back.
“Will my matchmaker understand what I’m looking for?”
Yes, your personal matchmaker at Drawing Down the Moon will work very hard to understand you and what you are looking for, but they can’t do it without your input! Think of your matchmaker as a detective, piecing together clues about your ideal partner. The more open and honest you are about your preferences, experiences, and goals, the better they can work their magic. And even more importantly, the more open you are on the type of person that could be right for you, the greater the chance of finding them (to learn more about this, matchmaker Gillian McCallum discusses this topic in depth in her podcast series – How to Fall in Love).
A recent client shared with us that he initially worried that his DDM Matchmaker wouldn’t “get him” because his ideal partner didn’t fit traditional moulds. But after sharing a bit more about his lifestyle, like his love for all things sport – cricket, hiking and scuba diving, his matchmaker encouraged him to look for a partner who was supportive of his hobbies and interests, rather than expecting a partner who shared the same hobbies. And the lady we introduced him to on his third introduction, was exactly that. From a sports loving family, while she was more than happy to climb the odd Munro, when it came to scuba diving, she took advantage of the five star facilities, and a gentle lap in the pool rather than getting the full gear on. And being willing to accept your partner for who they are, and vice versa is one of the biggest hurdles in dating today. Your matchmaker’s ability to understand you comes down to communication. Although you might have highly specific criteria, it is important that you approach your matchmaker with an open mind. By being open, your matchmaker is able to search for the most eligible (currently single) Londoner just for you.
The thing to always remember is. If I met this person at a dinner party, and I knew nothing other than how witty, entertaining and comfortable I was in their company, would the fact that they had never owned a dog be vitally important to me? Sometimes, what you’re looking for is more about shared values and aspirations than a checklist of traits. Trusting the process at DDM and being open to the right person for you, will lead to introductions that feel genuinely tailored.
Is Matchmaking Invasive?
Opening up to someone you have just met can often feel very vulnerable, but remember: the matchmakers at DDM aren’t here to judge you, they’re here to help. And every single matchmaker at Drawing Down the Moon is selected because they are kind, considerate, empathetic, and have a genuine desire to help their clients find love. Sharing your story allows your matchmaker to make informed introductions. And although not every introduction will be the perfect person for you (if it was then we would only send you on one introduction), we can assure you that we are here to hold your hand, encourage you to take risks, and encourage you to look outside of the narrow list you may currently have, to gently help you find the love of your life. Vulnerability is a key ingredient for connection, growth, and romantic love. Can we ever fall in love with another person, without allowing ourselves to become vulnerable? By sharing your real self, your passions, fears, and dreams, you empower your matchmaker to find interesting introductions with the aim of finding that special someone who complements you. Your matchmaker is your own personal shortcut to deeper, more meaningful dates. Instead of endlessly guessing whether someone might align with your values, your outlook your matchmaker does the heavy-lifting. That is not to say that we manufacture your partner in a back room. While our reach to London’s most eligible singles is reputed to be the best in the industry, we are dealing with real life and real people!
Why Matchmaker Feedback Helps You Find Love
“What if the feedback is too harsh?”
Our aim as matchmakers is always to support you in the best way that we can, working towards as positive an outcome (finding love!) as we can. Feedback is equally designed to be as positive as we can make it. Designed to lift you up while perhaps pointing out some of your blind spots. A great matchmaker knows how to deliver constructive advice in a way that builds your confidence and strengthens your dating approach. And while most of the feedback might be in advance of dating, some of the feedback will be following your introductions. And while we were not at your first date (even though we often wish we had been!) if we receive consistent feedback – such as discussing an ex partner, or not asking enough questions, then this is something we want to share with you. Why? Because it increases your chances of finding love, which after all, is what we are here for.
Feedback from a matchmaker should be like guidance from a trusted friend. Honest, but supportive, designed to help you make a step closer to finding love, and trying to ensure the best outcome on every single date you attend. Sometimes, all it takes is a small adjustment, a shift in mindset, a tweak in how you present yourself, or a fresh perspective, to transform your dating experience. Going from first date to that sometimes elusive second and third date. Embracing our matchmaker approved advice can make the difference between dating a series of great people versus finding the love that you long for.
Matchmakers Help You See What You Can’t
We all have dating blind spots. Maybe you’re coming across as too guarded, or perhaps your go to conversation topics aren’t resonating with the type of partner you would like to attract. Sometimes we are still focused on previous relationships and find ourselves constantly comparing our current dating companion with the person sitting in front of us. Your Matchmaker is like a mirror, gently reflecting these areas of growth that may well be the key on your path to love.
Feedback isn’t just about pointing out what you might be doing wrong, it is often about highlighting what you are doing really well, providing positive enthusiasm, being your cheerleader. Your matchmaker is well versed in identifying your strengths and helping you lean into them, making you a more confident and authentic dater, and more ready than ever to find love. Your matchmaker ultimately wants what you want, to help you find love. Our matchmakers choose matchmaking, not as a job, or a way to fill their week, but because they have a passion for helping people find love.
How to Get the Most Out of Matchmaking
Here are some tips to make the most of your matchmaking experience and build a strong partnership with your matchmaker:
Allow Yourself to be Vulnerable
Your matchmaker wants to get to know you and what makes you tick, but we don’t have a lifetime to learn that when you want to find love now. The job of our expert matchmakers is to tease out of you your dating history, your hopes and aspirations, the kind of lifestyle you lead, the types of friends you have and the types of places that you go. The more your matchmaker learns about you, the more they can tailor their approach, and the better the chance they have – not of finding someone identical to you – but of finding someone complimentary to you.
Your openness and transparency is about being authentic, not perfect, we definitely do not expect or want that. Sharing past heartbreaks, lessons learned, or even discussing the incredible love of your life who is no longer with us, this gives your matchmaker vital context and an understanding of where we are starting from. This allows your matchmaker to introduce you to someone who respects your journey and, fingers crossed, aligns with your goals, building the foundation for a relationship based on trust and understanding.
Keeping an Open Mind
This one’s key. Remember the clients we discussed earlier? With different hobbies and interests? Trust your matchmaker, in order to allow them to take a risk, to introduce you to someone you might not necessarily pick yourself, someone who might just surprise you
Keeping an open mind doesn’t mean lowering your standards; it means widening your perspective. Often, the most meaningful connections come from unexpected places. By stepping outside your comfort zone, you allow for serendipity – the magical ingredient in any love story.
Talk to Your Matchmaker
After each introduction, we ask that you share your thoughts on the introduction with us. Most importantly, what are the positive take aways from the date? What traits did they have that you liked? Which traits led you to think you might be interested in meeting with them again? What worked? What didn’t? The feedback following each introduction is vital for us to tweak your next introduction. We do not expect each date to be perfect, in fact, we anticipate that some dates will just not work at all. Perhaps you (or they) had a bad day at work, or they really liked you and you don’t feel the same way. Not every introduction is going to end in a romance, but we do hope that you and us learn in this process and we work together to find you what you were looking for when you first approached us. Your matchmaker wants to hear your feedback; it’s a true collaboration. Sharing honest feedback allows them to fine tune your search and make adjustments to future introductions. Think of it as a dynamic partnership where your voice helps to shape the journey. Not every introduction will end up being the right person for you (or we would only introduce you to one person), but knowing that each introduction has been carefully selected by our skilled team of matchmakers, should give you faith in our overall goal of helping you find love.
Be Patient
Matchmaking isn’t about speed, it’s about quality. Behind the scenes, your matchmaker is working hard to find your ideal introduction. Trust the process and give it time.
Patience isn’t just about waiting though; it’s about trusting that the best things in life often take time. True compatibility goes beyond surface level connections. By giving your matchmaker the space to work their magic, you’re investing in a relationship that’s built to last.
Working with Drawing Down the Moon
Working with a matchmaker is a leap of faith, but one that hopefully pays off as long as you are able to embrace the process, and allow someone else to take the lead. Trust your matchmaker to guide you, advise you and be your number one cheerleader. Stay open to new possibilities, and welcome positive, constructive feedback as an opportunity to get you closer to your goal.
As the UK’s longest running matchmaking agency, Drawing Down the Moon has been helping singles find meaningful connections for over 40 years, celebrating a milestone of four decades of trusted expertise in 2024. Are you ready to start your own love story? Apply to Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking Agency today and begin your personalised journey towards lasting love. Apply to Drawing Down the Moon now.
If you are ready to meet someone special, contact the friendly award winning matchmakers at Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking.
