Breadcrumbing is the most brutal dating tactic yet. If you thought ghosting was the latest dodgy dating tactic, you will be surprised to hear that bread crumbing has a far more divisive approach. Worse than ceasing contact altogether, the Breadcrumber strings the victim along with just enough input to delude them into thinking they are actually interested, when they are not.
Breadcrumbers are unfortunately not interested in you, but enjoy the ego boost of knowing you are on the end of their endless piece of string. How do you know that you are Hansel and Gretel-ing your way to a dead end relationship? Read on…
1.) You receive a suggestive text once in a while, usually when you least expect it. It normally surmounts to no more than two words (that would require time and energy that they are simply not willing to waste on you);
Think; “Good week?” Or “How’s you?” Or even “Sup?”. At this point, you must refrain form sending back a little essay about your week or life, don’t give them the oxygen. You not only want to date someone who is actually serious about you (texts do not equal dating), you deserve to date someone with the capacity to form real sentences.
2.) One of your fab pictures on Facebook receives an instant ‘like’. This gives you the false sense of security, believing that they cannot stop thinking about you. Alas, you are no more than a back up option; perhaps 2nd or 3rd or even 4th in the queue. It is not unknown for the Breadcrumber to even be’ liking’ said picture to make the person they actually like jealous.
3.) Emoji speak. You will receive one of these once in a while…
This is not the behaviour displayed by someone who has any interest whatsoever in you, or anything you have to say. Soz. Incidently, words like ‘soz’ and ‘lol’ frequently fall into the breadcrumbing realm. Mature, attractive and interesting people use their real words. If you must respond, send back something equally as non-comital
4.) Once you reply to that sporadic smiley face or lazy ‘nothing text’, you will hear radio silence. Until the next time their ego needs a little boost to know that you are there, ready and waiting for the next time they need to be reminded of just how gorgeous they are.
5.) Only hear from him once a week/once a fortnight? Are you ‘dating’ without actually meeting? You are being breadcrumbed and it is time to get out! You deserve better, than to just be someones option. So what do you do?
Dating lovely straightforward people who would never dream of breadcrumbing is the best way of weeding out the breadcrumbers. When you date someone who is interested, worth your energy and truly present, they will contact you, they will make plans ahead of time and will move the relationship forward in person.
Which all leads us on to the latest dating phenomenon – “Phantoming” Find out more in my next blog.