Well, what do you find yourself touching when you’re on a date? We’re not talking about anything overly risque here. In fact, this is all about body language.
The way you hold yourself during a date can say a lot about you. Remember, while you’re busy trying to get to know the person opposite, they are doing exactly the same. That means they will be reading your body language, looking for any signals.
This can be a handy way of conveying your thoughts on how the date is going non-verbally but, all too often, people slip into habits without realising what messages they might be giving to their date. Here are some common body language habits and tics to consider.
Touching your neck
Touching or rubbing the neck is an indication of discomfort. Is this caused by lying or just because the date is going badly? That’s what your date might be wondering.
Clasping the back of the neck suggests anger.
Touching your collar
Tugging your collar or running your fingers around a neckline indicates anxiety and tension. It could also be seen as embarrassment or guilt – you might appear evasive.
Touching your mouth
This is a common body language crutch that many of us fall back upon. Some draw links between this and children sucking their thumbs because they are regressing to the comfort of their mother’s breast or feeding bottle. As such, it sends a signal of insecurity or anxiety. The same applies to biting fingers or nails. Touching your mouth can be off-putting for your date.
Touching your hair
Having a bad hair day? Perhaps you’re just trying to get a stray patch of hair under control, but patting and grooming your hair suggests that you are preoccupied with your appearance.
Pushing your hair back (in men and women) or tossing your hair L’Oreal advert-style (in women) can be viewed as a courting signal.
Running your fingers through your hair
Subtly different to the aforementioned preening and pushing of hair, running your fingers through your hair indicates that you are exasperated or frustrated – maybe even in despair!
Hair twisting
Twisting your hair round, which is most common in women, is an indication of nervousness. Again, it’s often something that it is easy to regress to without even realising, but it reveals a lot about how you’re feeling to your date.
Resting your chin on your hand
Putting your elbow on the table and resting your chin on your hand might leave your date thinking you are tired or bored. If you hand ventures upwards from your chin towards your mouth, this hints at anxiety or nervousness.
Clasping your hands behind your head
You can picture the scene of somebody with their hands behind their head, reclining as far as possible in a chair. It suggest you’re at ease and feeling secure enough in your surroundings to expose your heart.
But it can also express a sense of authority and, in particular, enjoying that authority. As such, be careful that this doesn’t come across as arrogance.
Hopefully that has given you food for thought when it comes to your body language on dates. Feel free to get in touch if you’d like further date coaching to improve the impression you make on first dates.
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