When it comes to dating, do you consider yourself ageist?
At Drawing Down the Moon one challenge we face quite frequently is managing people’s expectations with regards to age. This isn’t gender related either, both men and women are equally guilty of ageism. Now I can understand this to a degree, especially when wanting a family is an issue for someone as there are obviously biological factors to be taken into consideration. However, surprisingly many people seem to be more concerned about finding a ‘parent for their future child’ than finding a compatible partner for life. Obviously this isn’t mutually exclusive but the priority, in my opinion, should be on the latter.
Take the family issue out of the equation and you still have plenty of people who wish to be matched within a limited age range, presumably thinking compatibility is age-related. I personally have always tried to be open about this, although for me it’s important that I share values, life experiences and attitude in life with an ‘ideal partner’. So does that mean he would have to be closer to my own age? For example, I have dated a man 15 years senior to me and felt comfortable and as a comparison, been out with a man the same age as me and didn’t feel we had a lot in common. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s good to be open about age as long as everything else fits in to place. Looks like Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford are in agreement!
Miia Koponen – DDM Matchmaker