How to date differently

You’ve heard them all before – ‘Look before you leap’, ‘When you stop looking you’ll find love’, ‘A leopard can’t change his spots’ and so on and so forth. Words of apparent wisdom that get trotted out in almost every conversation about love. Do these dating clichés have any value? Perhaps they do. You should certainly take some care when entering any kind of relationship and love can appear when you least expect it. I don’t agree though with that last one. People have great capacity for change (if we choose to). As self aware beings it’s in our very nature to change and evolve. It’s not always easy, first you must accept that you’re not perfect, that change needs to happen but you can do it! Madge says it best:-

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”

(Madonna)

Eyes Starting To Narrow

Here’s the one that really ticks me off though – ‘Good Things Come To Those Who Wait’.

Eh? NO! Not true. If you want something you HAVE to work for it! Yeah yeah, I know, the gardener has to wait for the seed to grow into a tree and then for the fruit to form, but didn’t he have to dig the hole? Plant the seed? Water it, tend it, prune it when needed, protect it from disease, weather, parasites? That’s work in my book and relationships are no different.

Everything in this world moves fast. We have more competition. We are more selective. If you want to stand out from the crowd you need to act! You must be proactive in all aspects of your life. You could hope that you get lucky and get THAT job or meet THE ONE but it’s not something you can count on.

In Dating…

You could wait around expecting a wonderful woman/man to fall into your lap. You could hope that you’ll simply be in the right place at the right time, that a friend will introduce you to your dream woman, or you’ll both reach for the last mango at exactly the same moment. Hey it could happen, but chances are it might not. You’re just wasting time wishing for those events to occur. You’re gambling with your happiness.

What You Should Be Doing

Create as many dating opportunities for yourself as possible. Take every shot you can. Whether that’s introducing yourself to interesting people in the real world and asking for their number.  Sending out more messages in online dating. Or joining a reputable dating agency, you need to be out there making things happen. It all starts by showing up and showing willing. The quicker you follow your own values, desires, wants, and needs the happier you will be.

So make a change today.

There may well be ‘Plenty of fish of in the sea’ but that doesn’t mean one is going leap out of the water and into your lap. You’re going to have to get a BIG net, the BEST fishing pole (keep it clean folks), some tasty bait AND learn how to use it all.

“Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.”

(Unknown)