Dating After Divorce

Moving on after divorce. It can feel as though this will never be possible. Whatever the reasons were for your separation, the chances are you’re emotionally bruised and battered. You’ve possibly lost half your social circle, your home and most of your self confidence.

Take heart. The old adage is true ‘Time is a great healer’. We don’t necessarily hold with ‘The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else’ view on things though. Intimacy between two people is something that should be nurtured and explored slowly. When you are ready to think about having someone meaningful in your life we have some advice.

Accept that it takes time

There is no rush. If you’ve been in a long relationship it can take a long time to recover. The more raw things are, the more compassionate you have to be to yourself. 

Allow yourself to feel anger, fear and sorrow, such feelings are normal and all part of the recovery process. Don’t be hurried along by well intentioned friends. This is your journey. You’ll know when the time is right.

Make peace with your loss and try to forgive the past

Don’t focus on what’s in the past. This is your life – live it! Letting go of hurt and forgiving those who’ve caused that pain is key in you being able to move on. Take up yoga – all that deep relaxing breathing and finding inner peace and serenity can only be a good thing.

Make your life active and fulfilling

In the last blog I spoke about being a happy singleton and how “The better you get at being alone, the better you will be at being in a relationship.” This is key to helping you explore the person you really want to be, not the person you were perhaps expected to be by someone else.

Fill your life with interest and activity. You’ll have more stories to tell and, let’s face it, you’ll be creating opportunities to meet new interesting people.

Don’t be afraid to make the approach

If you know someone is single, you like them and feel there might be an opportunity there, don’t hide behind a load of excuses. ‘They’d say no’, ‘It’s too soon’, ‘I’d be embarrassed’.  

You’ll find that people are often surprisingly receptive. You never know what will happen if you just take a chance.