Jonathan, 68, a divorcee from Kent, has chosen a different route to romance, becoming a client of dating agency Drawing Down the Moon, instead of logging on to Tinder. But with four adult daughters – and a sensible approach to the practicalities of relationships – he has his sights firmly set on a woman his own age. “If you are with someone 20 years younger than you, they’ve probably got a different life experience,” he says. “Also, when you get to a certain age, you start to creak a bit at the seams. If you’re dating someone younger, there may well be a mismatch in your pace of life.”
According to Gillian McCallum, CEO of Drawing Down the Moon, Jonathan’s view is typical of the approach her clients take to dating. “The men might be attracted to women who are younger, but when they want a relationship, they want it with another adult,” she says. “Men are not coming to us and asking for a much younger model.
Finding the right age match is not the only challenge that men on today’s fast-paced, often cut-throat dating scene must contend with, however. As is so often evident from a show such as First Dates, many men struggle desperately when it comes to finding love.
“Older women are very good at keeping their female friendships, at networking and at keeping up with their favourite activities,” says Kurland. “Sometimes, older men lose the art of dating. They can become a bit isolated if they have been widowed or made redundant. I think it often comes down to confidence. Men aren’t always as good at talking about their feelings, but saying you’re lonely and want to meet someone is the first stage to finding a partner.”
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