Now there’s a question! Asked over and over and with no definitive answer, how much time have we all spent ruminating on how to find love and then to make it last? Here are a few ideas….
1. Choose a mate with whom you share key levels of compatibility.
For some it might be a shared religion, a history, friends who realise they’re perfect for each other. Or it could be a common interest in sport, animals, literature, the theatre, old movies or a deep love of trains! Whatever they may be these shared interests and beliefs will be the basis for the connection you feel with another person.
2. Follow your heart, not necessarily the opinion of others.
Some couples meet with a lot of resistance. Whether it be due to religion, status, cultural differences or just a plain old personality clash, not everyone will necessarily approve of your relationship. The approval of friends and family IS important and sometimes they can see a bad relationship more clearly from the outside, but our advice would be to let your heart and intuition be your guide.
If you have doubts about a relationship then let the people around you see it and help you, but if you feel in your heart that you’ve found your soulmate then don’t let anyone stand in your way. Be true to yourself. It won’t always be an easy path, not by any means, but follow your truth. You’re the one who has to live with yourself, and ultimately with him or her, not your friends and family.
3. Look for your complement, not a carbon copy of yourself.
You don’t have to be in agreement about every little thing. How boring would that be? (don’t forget some of the best sex ever is ‘make-up after the row’ sex) The best matches are a combination of compatibility and complements. Ideally, you want to share the same world view, be in alignment with how you make practical decisions, and be sexually attracted to each other.
4. Mutual respect is essential to a good relationship.
You cannot love anyone unless you first respect them. And before that you must first respect yourself. Be confident in what it is you want from a relationship, tell yourself you deserve to be happy. Always act in a way that allows your partner to maintain respect for you.
5. The power of communication.
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them, open yourself up to hear their feelings and views as well as exposing your own. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: “I Love You.”
Yes, that all-consuming feeling of pure lust, that euphoric, overwhelming, distracting, beautiful thing we call passion can be spontaneous, or it can come on gradually. Passion either grows or it dissipates. Passion grows when you can be comfortable and uninhibited with each other. And you break down any barriers by communicating. Passion fades when you have resentment, anger or contempt for your partner. Once again, here is an area that cannot be neglected or taken for granted in a relationship. Keep it alive by kissing every day to keep the juices flowing, recreating passionate memories, and trying new and exciting activities together.
7. Never underestimate the importance of good grooming.
(Spotted this here and loved it. Click for further reading on creating a strong and lasting relationship.)
Our wish at Drawing Down the Moon is that you find the kind of lasting love you deserve. Through our interview process, we aim to match you to people who do share your outlook on life and your interests, the rest is up to chemistry and to you! Don’t give up hope! It can happen to you. I know it can be frustrating to date the wrong people (or no one at all), but please stay in the game. The rewards are too great. You might miss out on an opportunity to enhance your life with lasting love.
If you are ready to meet someone special, contact the friendly award winning matchmakers at Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking.