Congratulations everyone, we have officially welcomed the first day of Spring!
While we may still have a few months to go before we feel the heat or at least a change in the weather, I believe this is a great time to start preparing other areas of our life for the new season. Lets prepare, and turn the temperature up in our relationships!
In the spirit of anticipation, I’m going to be sharing some of my top tips for surviving that 1st date! In part 1 we are are going to look at the foundational stages of this date, the phone conversation, or voice messages.
Okay, so your ringing him – Should you leave a message or not?
I suggest to all our agency members that it’s best to avoid leaving a message. The reason is that men and women relate to machine messages in totally opposite ways. Women think nothing of treating anyone’s answerphone like a best friend and have few inhibitions about leaving and answering messages. Most men, on the other hand seem to be genetically programmed not to listen to their machines, even though they leave them on. As for returning messages – well, forget it. Furthermore, when he doesn’t call you back after you have left a message, it starts to become difficult. If he does actually listen (!!!) to the seveal further messages that you subsequently leave, he may feel pressured by their insistence – no matter how much he’d probably enjoy meeting you. So don’t judge a man solely on the basis of his ability to reply to phone messages. When you actually meet him, you can then decide whether or not he merits the status of ‘worth getting to know better’.
Persevere with your calls until he asnwers ‘in the flesh’ – and don’t leave a message.
So you’ve finally got through to him – What do you say in the phone call?
First make sure you pick a moment when you’re feeling good about life! Are you relaxed and rested? Never phone a potential date for the first time after a stressful day at the office unless you’ve given yourself plenty of time to wind down.
As soon as he answers in person, smile into space (to ensure your voice is warm), say who you are and immediately check if it’s a good moment for him to talk.
Now you’re actually talking – great! Keep the call short if you already know something about him (via his letter, his introduction-agency profile or the friend who introduced you) – and keep it light. Save your valuable small talk to break the ice on the date itself.
In Pt 2 we will delve deeper into issues surrounding this topic including; Where and how long should you meet, The art of seductive conversation, and What your body language might be telling your date!
Does this help? Read more in my book – Smart Dating, How to find your man.