Switching on flirtatious feelings
Learning to flirt more effectively isn’t just about learning new behaviour. First and foremost, it’s about getting in touch with the golden, feel-good space deep down inside you without which it’s impossible to flirt. This is really useful when you’re feeling nervous and inhibited – like before a date. Try the same technique that athletes use to get into ‘winning mode’ before a big event. To get them into peak performance mode they try to recreate the positive feelings related to previous occasions when they have won. By imagining the sounds, sights, smells, feelings and excitement surrounding the occasion, they become empowered.
The ‘Golden Glow’ of success
Try it now. Close your eyes for a minute and conjure up the feelings associated with a moment in your past, a golden moment, maybe in your childhood, when you were deliriously happy, relaxed, curious, wondrous and playful – in a Golden Glow. Try and identify all the sensory elements that make up this memory. What did you hear, feel, touch, smell or taste? Imagine the scene as a film starring yourself. Intensify the colours. Enlarge the picture. Put yourself right in there.
Lock on to this Golden Glow and let it flow through your body. Where do you feel it? Your throat perhaps, or maybe your belly? Describe it. Is it like the warm rays of spring sunshine? Feel the smile spreading across your face.
Now to evoke this Golden Glow to help you feel flirtations and relaxed at will you need to link it to a ‘trigger’. Choose a special gesture you can make, such as wiggling your toes. Do it right now! Repeat the gesture and generate the Golden Glow until you have created an association between the Golden Glow and your personal flirt trigger so that, any time you want to flirt, you simply ‘fire’ your trigger. This way, you can evoke the feelings directly and can quickly slip into a fabulously relaxed state that enables you to float effortlessly into flirt mode. Practise this often and then when you’re on a date just think ‘hey, I want to connect a bit more with this person’, then trigger your flirt mode, enjoy yourself and encourage your date to feel the same.
Some people also find it helpful to visualize the image of their flirt role model. They visualize their voice, their body language and conjure up a picture of this person flirting. Then they imagine they are that person – perhaps it’s that friend who hoovers up all the eligible dates at every party!
Flirt School Day Four will give you heaps of ideas for everyday situations where you can practise ‘friendly flirting’ to hone those flirt muscles for when you want to dazzle a special person with your stunning, sexy flirt skills.