This week during my random blog perusal I found this lovely post on the benefits of having a cat instead of a lover. Nora Cashell made some reasonable points regarding the joys of having a warm body in your home that will give and receive affection without any hassle over how you look, who ate the last biscuit (though I can see who drank the last of the milk becoming an issue) and whether your friends approve or not. It got me thinking….. Do you really need to find love?
You need to know who you are
I really do think it’s important to have spent some time on your own discovering who you are as a person. What’s important to you, what you enjoy and the type of person you want to be. So many of us have perhaps gone straight from living with parents, to marriage, or have spent so long climbing the career ladder that anything personal has been relegated to second place.
Music? ‘They play that at the gym, but I don’t have time to find out who the artists are.’
Books? ‘Well, I read the latest government figures on start-up businesses – does that count?’
Theatre? ‘I really enjoyed the time I went with my ‘A’ level Literature class, but I really don’t have the time now.’
Honestly, you’d be surprised at how little time people find for the things they might actually enjoy! Being alone should be an enriching experience. After a break-up it’s especially important to take some time to re-evaluate what’s important to you. It can be tough, but it’s certainly better that rushing straight into a new relationship.
Let’s go straight to the heart of the matter. You’re single, smart, independent and that’s cool. Then why do I see guides to finding and keeping a man/woman sitting on your, otherwise empty, bookshelves?
Are you ready?
Are you sure you really want a relationship? You could just get a cat! Perhaps you’re genuinely quite content with being single. Lots of people give in to social pressures to find a significant other when it may be the wrong time for them or simply not what they want. And hey! Dating isn’t always about finding ‘The ONE’, you can have a lot of fun meeting new and interesting people, making friends and enjoying experiences without having to commit for life – just be honest about your goals from the beginning.
The joys of being a couple
At some point in your life you may feel the need to be loved and taken care of. To have someone to share your sad and happy moments, to share your successes and failures. It can be hugely comforting to know that you are not alone, that someone who cares is looking forward to you coming home, to having dinner with you and sharing the news of the day (again, I can see how in some cases a cat could fill this role). But you can’t take a cat to a party or to the theatre – if you do you may need to seek out professional help – and this next one is a definite no – YOU COULD GET ARRESTED.
Having a partner means physical intimacy. Being touched is a basic human need. Sex is safer and oh so good with a partner you share a deep emotional attachment to, who knows what you like and is willing to share and explore your fantasies and desires without any fear of judgement. (If your partner happens to purr during intercourse…..well done you! If they happen to have fur and claws – STOP – what you’re doing is illegal!)
In summary, while I agree that cats can make wonderful pets they’re no substitute for a relationship with an equal. Someone who will care for you when you’re sick, hold your hand when you’re walking along a beautiful beach, the person you can’t to wait to sit with in silence at the end of a long day, because no words are needed.
If you find yourself looking for your perfect match – give us a call. Our dedicated team of professional matchmakers are just waiting to meet you and help you find your future (non-feline) mate.