One of the best ways to get to know someone is by asking them personal questions. This is why the first few dates are often filled with lots of questions. The questions can be basic (eg: your favourite items) and the questions can be personal (eg: where do you see yourself in 5 years). The questions can also be intimidating. It’s easy to feel put on the spot when someone is asking you about yourself, especially when they are personal. How many times have you stalled on a question that should be easy to answer? Although we all know ourselves fairly well, when we’re asked, we tend to draw a complete blank. Unfortunately, that is what the first dates are all about. You’re trying to get to know the other person and determine your compatibility. The best thing you can do is prepare yourself. By using these conversation tips for dating, you should be able to keep the conversation flowing.
How To Ask Questions
The best type of questions to ask are open-ended (eg: what would you take with you on a deserted island?). These questions give your date the chance to be creative with their answer. They also provide a chance to get to know more about the way your date thinks. By asking an open-ended question, you’re also allowing the conversation to take a natural direction. Through the answer you’re given, you can build on new topics of discussion. These questions also allow you to gauge where you think you may fit into their life/future.
When you’re struggling to think of something to discuss, you can always ask about favourites. This is usually a safe line of questioning because the questions are easy to answer. At the same time, these questions can propel the conversation and give you something to build on. It allows you and your date to share likes and dislikes in a fun way. All without being too intimidating.
An important element of asking questions is listening to the answers you’re given. It can be hard to truly listen to someone, especially if they are telling a story or seem to be rambling. It’s important to try and remain present. Now, keep in mind that some people ramble when they are feeling nervous or excited. Pay attention to their body language and you can usually tell which one it is. If they are fidgeting, they are likely nervous. You can use humour and point out your own nerves, which should help them to feel more comfortable.
Conversation tip for dating: Pay attention to body language! If your date seems uncomfortable, try changing the topic of conversation. If your date seems disinterested, offer to end the date early. You want to pay attention to your own body language too. Make sure you’re coming across as interested, but not pushy.
If you’re really enjoying the date, pay close attention to the type of things like enjoy doing and make a mental note. Use their answers for when you want to plan future dates.
How To Answer Questions
Answer truthfully. It’s often tempting to exaggerate your personality traits or accomplishments. Avoid this temptation. When you’re talking about yourself, it’s best to be truthful. You don’t want to falsely advertise yourself or your lifestyle. You can accentuate the positive traits, but don’t be deceiving. If you’re trying to make a real connection with someone, you have to be genuine.
You don’t want to brag too often, even if you have many accomplishments. One of the most important conversation tips for dating is simply to be modest. You don’t want your date to feel like you’re trying to prove something. You also don’t want your date to think you’re self-centered. Of course, the opposite is true as well. You don’t want to talk about yourself negatively. It doesn’t leave a good impression. Even if you think you’re being funny by self-deprecating, it’s likely going to come across in a negative light if you do it too much.
You also want to avoid oversharing. If a question is complicated or comes with a story, you may want to shorten the tale. You don’t want to completely dismiss a question you’re asked, but you can summarise. You can easily ruin a date with too much information or talking about touchy subjects.
What Should You Avoid Talking About?
There are 3 subjects you don’t talk want to talk about during the first dates:
Religion
Politics
Past relationships
Aside from those topics, there are a few other subjects you may want to avoid. For instance, talking about children or marriage too early can cause your date to become uncomfortable. This is something you discuss after you’ve been involved for a period of time. If you already have children and you want to let your date know, you’ll want to wait until the third date. At this point, you’re getting to know each other more intimately and you’ll want to share this information. Waiting too long may ruin the relationship before it even begins.
You may be tempted to talk about current events in the world as an ice-breaker. While this seems like a good idea, it leaves too much room for disagreement. It’s easy for politics to be brought into a conversation about world affairs. Try to avoid talking about anything that would turn into a debate or argument.
What Should You Talk About?
The best topic of conversation for single professionals is hobbies and interests. Especially social hobbies and things the two of you might be able to do together in the future. Most people are eager to talk about their hobbies and interests because it is something they are passionate about. Hobbies often help to define who we are as people, so it is good to know what your date is passionate about. It is also an easy conversation with the opportunity to develop into a deeper conversation. Even if you’ve already discussed hobbies, you can always ask if there is a hobby they’ve thought about taking up.
Bonus: Helpful Questions To Ask Your Date
Below are a few more conversation tips for dating and extra useful questions
How would you describe yourself, in 3 words?
What is the most important thing in your life?
What makes you laugh?
What is the most interesting thing that has happened to you?
Do prefer planning or being spontaneous?
What are you most passionate about?
Are you the type of person who prefers to relax at home or go out and explore the world?
What are your goals for the future? How important are these goals to you?
Do you find it easy to open up to people?
What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?
What would you consider to be your greatest accomplishment?
The biggest secret is simply to listen just a little more than you speak. Repeat back what they say to you and they’ll be flattered you were paying attention and remembered
We hope you found these conversation tips for dating useful.
Happy dating!
If you are ready to meet someone special, contact the friendly award winning matchmakers at Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking.
